Friday, September 08, 2006

(un)Happily Ever After

Time and time again we have had the sweet pleasure to read about variety of marriage crisis. Whether it’s David Beckham sleeping with his PA, or whether it has been some other B-rate celebrity that has gone and wrecked their marriage.

Some people do not seem to understand that love is a matter of heart.

People want to make their wedding days the most memorable day of their lives. The ceremony has to be beautiful and the ensuing party has to get the parents and relatives to a state where they, despite their wisdom, need to be carried home. You need to have traditions, colour themes, exceptional buffet meals and surprising programme to entertain the guests. The bride must wear a dress that will make the priest choke and cause a strife with the brides’ mother and make the mother in law to faint. The wedding guests are all groomed to their finest with their moronic Golgate smiles.

The really dumb thing is that once you get older you realise that big ceremonies and all the excess crap at a wedding was unnecessary, because you really start to truly understand the fundamentals of love and relationships. All you care about that the relationship works and that both parties are happy. Think of it this way: No one in funerals is talking about colour schemes, or throwing sand outside the church and no one says a word about robbing the body.

Maybe part of the reason for the increase in divorces is in the reason that everything has to be so perfect just for that one day and the rest is meaningless. According to Danish studies, once couples get to the stage that they want to have kids they enter into the crisis stage of a relationship. Many couples at this stage start to think for the first time “why the hell did we get married?”

“The holy matrimony” should not be about the excess crap that people pour into it. The whole idea of weddings has been churned in to a lucrative and overly commercialised market, where women and men are fed this idea that it is your one and only day. Marriage should be about sharing a life instead of making hollow promises and live just for that one-day. Cut the excess crap from the ceremony and make your weddings about your commitment to each other.

In that sense love and marriage are wonderful things. If people keep organising their glamorous dream weddings, the prospect is that the marriage will fail, because they have put everything to that one day, without thinking about the most essential aspect of matrimony: Sharing a life.
If the trend in failed marriages and over hyped and glamorised weddings continue, we might as well set up agencies and write two year contracts for marriages.


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